02202019What's Hot:
Facebook Stole Your Shit, And Your Friends’ Shit, Again
This is seriously a screenshot of Mark Zuckerberg expressing a heartfelt sentiment. It’s always something with Facebook these days, huh? Years ago, if a humble mom-and-pop corporation asked you for all your personal information (date of birth, [...]
Prosecutors Relying On James O’Keefe Vids Shit Bed Again Because They Relied On James O’Keefe Vids
Why would you use evidence from a guy with his own mug shot? The government’s attempt to prosecute protesters who just ruined Donald Trump’s big beautiful biggest inauguration ever hit another snag yesterday as a federal judge dismissed [...]
Donald Trump Full Of Shit: A Jeff Sessions Shitsplainer!
Elfin Magic! How the hell did we end up on the same team as Jeff Sessions? Time to start buying those freeze-dried slop buckets from Jim Bakker — clearly the Apocalypse is nigh! Because that racist elf’s ability to absorb constant abuse [...]
Donald Trump Made Up Exciting New Insane Shit To Lie About In Nashville Rally!
[embedded content] Donald Trump shambled out onto the stage of the not-actually-full Municipal Auditorium in Nashville Tuesday night to do one of his campaign rally things, ostensibly to help the Senate campaign of [...]
Michael Cohen In ALL The Shit. Again.
I’m a CONSULTANT! Pour one out for poor Michael Cohen, who is really, really bad at crime. No matter how much he practices, he always fucks it up. And he practices A LOT. The New York Times reports that, 11 days before the inauguration, Donald [...]
New York Times Wonders If It MAY Have Shit Bed A Tiny On That Little Trump-Russia Story Just That One Time
The New York Times has a CROSSFIRE HURRICANE of a scoopty scoop for you today, and it is that — hold on to your loved ones and put the pregnant women and children outside in a shed — it may have gotten a story wrong once, just a little [...]
Fox News Shitmouth Has Thoughts About John McCain, To Shit Out His Mouth
OH JOHN MCCAIN, YOU’VE GONE AND HURT FOX NEWS’S FRAGILE FEELINGS AGAIN! McCain, who is at home fighting brain cancer, took time out of fighting brain cancer in order to state unequivocally and for the record that, after Gina Haspel refused [...]
President Shit Baby Hath Changed His Mind About Rudy Giuliani
Alas, but it would seem our very fine president Donald Trump may have failed to pick the best people yet again. After announcing excitedly that at long last a real lawyer would be joining his legal team, Trump quickly became bored of talking [...]
Oh Shit, Michael Cohen Got ‘Wire Tapps’ In His Obamaphone! LOL TRUMP U R FUCKED!
SEE UPDATE BELOW FOR HOW FUCKING NBC FUCKED UP. We knew the feds had been reading Trump “lawyer” Michael Cohen’s emails before they decided to do NAZI STORMTROOPING to him, like common feds. And we knew Trump was losing his shit over [...]
Time For More Stupid Gun Shit If You Can Believe That
Just joshing. Besides, Obama joked about sending drones against his daughters’ suitors. Don’t most dads have drones now? Meet Brian Kemp. He’s Georgia’s secretary of state, and he’s one of seven Republicans who’d like to be elected [...]