02222018What's Hot:
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Dear Pissed-Off High School Kids: If Adults Threaten To Punish You For Protesting, FUCKING DO IT ANYWAY

Smart American kids who don’t really feel like being shot at today are planning national school walk-outs and huge anti-gun rallies all over the country in the coming months, to push the adults in charge to finallyfuckingfinally do something [...]
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Chris Wray Says ACTUALLY Sarah Huckabee Sanders And John Kelly Are Total Fucking Liars Who Lie

Wray is all “ACTUALLY” … On Monday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders opened her mouth and said once the White House learned “the extent” of former White House staff secretary Rob Porter’s constant wife-beating last Tuesday night, it was handled [...]
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ICE Knows Some Terrible Fucking Publicity When It Gets It, Gives Stay Of Deportation To Sick Baby’s Dad

1 week ago | 0 comment
Heading back home today! Now we just need that outcome for a few million more folks… Jesus Berrones, the Phoenix man who was ordered to be deported even though his 5-year-old son has a rare form of leukemia, gets to go home to be with his [...]
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Is Rachel Brand Just Totally Selfish, Or Is She A Fucking Coward Too?

1 week ago | 0 comment
Welp. She tried. HAHA JUST KIDDING no she didn’t. We have not yet addressed the resignation of Rachel Brand, the very smart and talented number three at the Justice Department. It’s bad for a variety of reasons, all of which are that if [...]
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Russia Did It, Y’all. And Nobody Fucking Cares.

2 weeks ago | 0 comment
No Russia. No Russia. YOU’RE THE RUSSIA. In 2000, George W. Bush won the election by negative 450,000 votes because the Supreme Court stepped in and made Florida stop recounting, because it was very unfair to not go ahead and install Bush [...]
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Trump Lawyers Say No Robert Mueller Interview, Because Their Client Is BIGLY FUCKING LIAR

2 weeks ago | 0 comment
if his mouth is moving … The saga of whether Donald Trump will sit down with Robert Mueller and pathologically lie to cover up whatever crimes he’s committed, thereby catching perjury charges on top of whatever else Mueller has for him, [...]
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Andrew McCabe Maybe Purged From FBI For Being Better Than A Common James Fucking Comey

3 weeks ago | 0 comment
burn him! Donald Trump gets very confused when he tries to figure out how Democrats can simultaneously STILL BE MAD at former FBI director James Comey for sticking Hillary Clinton’s emails back into the campaign 11 DAYS BEFORE THE ELECTION, [...]
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GOP Will Protect Robert Mueller The Second It’s Too Fucking Late To Protect Robert Mueller

3 weeks ago | 0 comment
SHIELD THIS MAN. What are we to do with all the #TrumpRussia news going around right now? Last week, we learned that last summer, Donald Trump tried to fire special counsel Robert Mueller, but he couldn’t get there, because White House counsel [...]
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Counterpoint: Maybe Chuck Schumer ISN’T A Fucking Asshole Weakling That We Hate?

1 month ago | 0 comment
Yes, we know Mitch McConnell is a lowdown scheming varmint. Yr Wonkette doesn’t trust that sumbitch further than we can throw him. But that DOES NOT mean Schumer and the Senate Democrats got rolled yesterday when they traded a six-year reauthorization [...]
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Wonkette Wins ONE MILLION FAKIE AWARDS, For ‘Best Dick Joke’ And ‘Not Being The Fucking New York Times’

1 month ago | 0 comment
Donald Trump says SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL FAKE NEWS DICK JOKE EMPORIUM! Did you see that weak sauce bullshit Donald Trump did for his big Fake News Awards, which were only hotly anticipated in that everybody hotly anticipated he would fuck it up [...]