07182019What's Hot:

Our Long National Nightmare Beginneth Today! Liveblogging Donald Trump’s Inauguration, Help Us Jesus

Get ready to be sick of winning
OR WAS IT?

Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God.

Oh God.

OK. Here we are. In a few hours, Donald Trump (Donald fuckin’ Trump!) will be inaugurated (inaugurated!) as president (president!) of the United States. (Our country! The one we live in and love more than Trump does! OH GOD!) Yes, after a bruising election, Trump managed to pull off a victory that’s only historic on account of how many millions more people voted for his opponent than voted for him. This was supposed to be Hillary Clinton’s day. Oh god.

But here we are, and we are going to liveblog this fucker until it’s over, and then we are going to start drinking. Or we are going to start drinking and then liveblog.

If you are in DC, you know the editrix is there too, yeah? We are going to party like it’s the apocalypse, because it is! So if you want to hang out and pregame the inauguration and then watch it with us and yell at the screen, here are the details:

The Bottom Line
1716 I (Eye) Street NW
Washington DC 20006
202-298-8488
Red Line to Farragut North
Blue and Orange Line to Farragut West

We will get there around 10 AM, and you can join us? We will buy beers? WE ARE SO LONELY FOR YOU! We said we would be there till like three, but that sounds a little ridiculous now, so get there earlier than that. Like 2!

How To Fix: Crepey Skin

Beverly Hills surgeon explains at home fix for crepey skin around the arms, legs, and stomach.

Then, tomorrow, we will be participating in the MAIN EVENT of the weekend, the thing most of the tourists are in town for, which is the Women’s March AKA the I Fucking Hate Donald Trump And I’m Pissed March. If you want to join yr Wonkette, meet us at Potbelly Sandwiches, 409 3rd St SW, at 9:30 a.m. on Saturday morning.

OK! We can do this. Liveblog starts … NOW! (Remember to obsessively refresh this page throughout the day.)

9:50: OK, hi. It’s happening, it’s really happening. Donald and Melania Trump (who looks gorgeous … her husband looks like his normal thin-skinned, tiny-handed pathetic self) are at the White House doing the tea and coffee summit with Barry and Michelle, like TER-DITION SAYS. Also, Mike Pence and his wife Karen are there meeting with Joe and Jill Biden, and oh God, Joe Scarborough is on MSNBC saying some fucking bullshit about how you can’t root against this president without rooting against the country, to which we reply FUCK YOU JOE, WE’RE ROOTING AGAINST HIM BECAUSE ARE FUCKING PATRIOTS WHO LOVE THIS COUNTRY.

Anyway, hi, we are here, we will be here all day.

9:55: The Trump children have arrived at the Capitol, even Tiffany, who seems to have brought a gentleman friend with her. He has facial hair and maybe they are boning. Maybe they already boned today. GO TIFFANY!

10:00: Oh good, Joe and Mika are no longer on the air, probably because now it’s time for them to go to the White House and lick the bottoms of Trump’s toes. Now we are watching Rachel Maddow and Brian Williams, at least until we get bored and decide to switch to Fox News to see how many times Sean Hannity has jizzed on ALL OF IT KATIE HE’S SO EXCITED.

10:05: Here they are. From left to right: Michelle, Melania, Pussgrab, Barack.

trumpobama

This is really fucking happening. Also Kellyanne Conway was just on our teevee screen and What. The. Fuck. Is. She. Wearing.

10:11: Nah for real, who picked out these clothing items?

kellyannewhatisshewearing

Sorry if you want hard-hitting analysis right now, but we Can’t Even just as much as you, so our gay ass is probably going to do a bunch of commentary on What Is She Wearing, I Mean, GURL!

Hell.No. Hats

Source: Politics – Wonkette

comments powered by HyperComments

More on the topic