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Liveblogging Hillary Clinton Schlonging Donald Trump, WITH VOTES! (Hopefully!)


Here we go, ya WANKETTE WANKERS! It’s the night we have all been waiting for! The polls are about to start closing and we will find out whether Hillary Clinton has broken the glass ceiling with her vagina, or whether America has decided that our little 240-year experiment as a free country was LOL, and would rather surrender to Mother Russia. Not that the stakes are high or anything!

So here is your livebloogity thing, which will last about an hour, and then you fuckers are on your own. HAHA WE KID, we are going to be on internets with you until shit is over. WE PROMISE. So!

First polls closing, and we have the first call of the night! Donald Trump takes Indiana! That is not a surprise! Second call of the night: Kentucky for Donald Trump!

ALSO TOO! Bernie’s Vermont for Hillz!

We can also too report that, via MSNBC, Rand Paul (R) and Pat Leahy (D) are keeping their Senate seats. So … news!

Oh, and just now according to MSNBC, 40 PERCENT of Georgia’s voters are nonwhite. Yowza!

Source: Politics – Wonkette

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