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GOP Has A Hard Time Not Killing People. Wonkagenda for Fri., March 10, 2017

Slideshows are for lazy people who don’t know what the hell they’re doing.

Morning Wonketariate! Here are some of the things we may be talking about today:

  • As the Congressional Budget Office readies its verdict on the cost of TrumpCare/RyanCare/FuckMyFaceCare, Trump’s White House is hurling large handfuls of shit at the CBO for even speculating about the super secret healthcare plan that NOBODY is allowed to see.
  • Trump’s Justice Department would really appreciate if you stopped asking questions about whether or not Trump is being investigated for colluding with Russia, or if Obama spied on Trump. It’s really annoying!
  • The FBI is apparently looking at that computer in Trump Tower that was talking to a Russian Bank because it’s “odd,” Yes, “odd,” as in, “weird,” or “fucked up.”
  • California Rep. Maxine Waters went on teevee and said Trump’s ALLEGED pee hooker tape was totally real, as described in The Dossier. LOLOLOL We love you, Maxine Waters!
  • James Comey went to The Hill to speak with the Gang of 8 about Trump, and Russia, and (ALLEGED) pee hookers, and wire taps, or at least that’s what we think as how he won’t talk to anyone else. 🙁
  • Sharing nudie pictures of female Marines on Bookface was just tip of the sad iceberg as an image board has been discovered that exposes female soldiers from all branches of the military in all the worst ways.
  • Massachusetts state Rep. Steven Lynch says he knows how to let gay veterans march in the Boston St. Patrick’s Day Parade, but he’s not giving any specifics on how he’ll convince Mass-holes to stop being drunken bigots.
  • Let’s all take a moment to point and leer at Ill. Rep. John Shimkus. He’s got a problem with paying for prenatal care, and was wondering why men have to pay for it since men aren’t the ones having all these babies.
  • Steve Mnuchin sent a letter to Paul Ryan asking for a loan so the Treasury Department can pay the bills Congress doesn’t seem to know how to pay.
  • Trump’s Tortilla Curtain may be collapsing already as Congresscreeps quietly run away as fast as they can. Even Mitch McConnell doesn’t think Mexico will pay for it!
  • The Office of Government Ethics is super mad at the White House after Kellyanne Conway went on teevee to sell Ivanka Trump junk, so they sent a sternly-worded letter to the White House letting them know just how angry they are. Oh, Sillyanne!
  • South Korea has kicked President Park Geun-hye out of office over a corruption scandal that stems from her association with a Rasputin-like crazy person, and now the whole country is freaking out.
  • The most important Messican diplomat Luis Videgaray had a state visit with Jared, H.R. McMaster, and Gary Cohn since the State Department didn’t know goddamn diplomat was in town because (presumably) Rex Tillerson accidentally forgot to tell the nervous skeleton crew he calls a staff over at State.
  • Rex Tillerson will continue to do a whole hell of a lot of nothing, and is unsurprisingly sitting out the Keystone XL pipeline talks.
  • Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has been given the gift of Congressional Review now that congresscreeps have begun to dismantle education policies enacted under Obama.
  • This gay-hatin’ and wife beating state Senator in Tennessee has been banging his second cousin. LOL [h/t JoeMyGod]
  • AHHH-NOLD may be asking for more than your clothes, boots and motorcycle as Schwarzenegger mulls a possible Senate run as an Independent for Cauli-forn-ei-ugh.
  • Here’s your Late Night Wrap-Up! Colbert called TrumpCare “TrumpCare” (cause it is), and wondered what new medical charts will look like; Conan O’Brian talked to Patrick Stewart about FINALLY getting a doggo; Jimmy Kimmel took some people to small claims court.
  • And here’s your morning Nice Time! A sick gazelle gettin’ all healthy! Yay, we love the vets!
    Hey, you! Wonkette doesn’t get any sweet government hand-outs like your fat cat public access teevee and radio stations, so donate/subscribe and we’ll keep fighting the good fight with cute baby pictures and funny ‘splainerings!

Source: Politics – Wonkette

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