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Donald Trump Looooooves The Establishment, Haaaaates Those Felon Loser Tea Party Trump Guys

Kardashian bestie Donald Trump surprised us with his almost reasonable decision to endorse GOP Rep. Dan Donovan for New York’s 11th Congressional District, imperiling the comeback aspirations of Republican ex-Congressman and all-around weirdo Michael Grimm.

Supporting Donovan is a startling break from Trump’s psychologically healthy tradition of petty, vainglorious revenge, and as you’ll recall, Donovan voted “no” on Trump’s tax scam reform bill, which he desperately wanted passed because of his lifelong, deeply held conviction in winning (it’s unclear if he ever read the thing).

So, why the change of heart? Well, it’s more a change of mind: Trump just insists that Donovan did vote for the tax bill (he really didn’t). The New York Times might call this a “false claim” or a “factually inconsistent exaggeration of objective reality,” but either way I’m not sure it’s helpful because the tax bill still isn’t all that popular.

Polls on the tax law, however, keep finding that disapproval of the law exceeds approval. Several polls have also shown that few people have noticed an increase in their paychecks due to the measure.

The CBS News poll found that 43 percent of voters approved of the law while 46 percent disapproved. It also found that 62 percent thought the law would either hurt them or have no effect.

You might wonder why Trump has to, in New York Times-speak, “differently interpret facts” when he could just back the creepily pro-Trump Grimm, who shares so many of his views and is also a convicted felon who served time for tax evasion … oh yeah, that’s it. Trump could always pardon Grimm as a parting gift but he can’t risk Grimm in a general election because he might break Trump’s two-sizes-too-small heart like all the others.

Donald Trump endorses Dan Donovan over Michael Grimm
Donald Trump endorses sycophant Dan Donovan over ex-convict Michael Grimm

I doubt that Trump, like most Manhattan residents, knows Staten Island “very well.” It’s probably where Melanie is safely hiding right now. Anyway, Trump is rightly concerned about these fringe, wackadoodle candidates who win the GOP primaries (Ed Gillespie and Roy Moore, as shameful and shameless examples) but, unlike his own fringe, wackadoodle self, go on to lose their general elections spectacularly. If you peek into his Twitter feed, you’d learn that 1) we’re all going to die and 2) he’s obsessed with Robert Mueller’s investigation into everything illegal he’s probably done and is currently doing.

Trump’s best protection against having to self-pardon himself, which would greatly offend Mike Pence’s delicate sensibilities, would be if the forecasted “blue wave” is held off and Congress remains in the hands of mobbed-up, corrupt Republicans. They don’t have to like him. They can go on CNN or MSNBC and reflect somberly on how Trump’s not up to the moral standards of Saint Ronald Reagan or even the guy who added all the Brylcreem to Reagan’s hair. That’s fine. Just so long as they report back to the House and Senate and basically ignore any of Mueller’s eventual findings. (“He released a report? With charges? How long is it? Is it on Audible? I’ll listen on the Acela.”)

There’s evidence of this new, more cautious Trump in Mississippi, where he endorsed incumbent Republican Senator Roger Wicker over challenger Chris McDaniel, as the two fiercely debated such important issues to the Magnolia state as “who loves Trump more.” This isn’t swamp draining. It’s more like a bad regional production of an Edward Albee play.

McDaniel claims that he was “Trump before Trump.” He was born in 1972. Trump was born in 1946. Maybe he’s talking about Tiffany, which isn’t relevant. Frankly, anyone this bad at math shouldn’t be a US Senator but should consider replacing Education Secretary Betsy DeVos.

Hey, my economically anxious, Trump-adoring brethren, it might look like your guy is “selling out” to avoid “going in” jail, but the establishment politicians Trump’s endorsing are still willing to debase themselves for their man-child leader’s favor. Donovan, for instance, introduced a bill last month requiring United States Post Offices, which Trump is valiantly trying to save from Amazon, to hang photos of Trump and Pence. As if you didn’t need another reason to choose FedEx.

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Source: Politics – Wonkette

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