08192019What's Hot:
Trump Prepares America For Hurricane Season By Bragging About Poll Numbers, Bitching About Magnets
It’s not clear where Melon planned to go on safari, but she was ready. Donald Trump went to a very important meeting at the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) yesterday, where he and his cabinet were supposed to discuss how FEMA and [...]
Tennessee Bigot Re-Bans Gays From His Shitty Hardware Store, Because FREEDOM!
God called. He said make a real sign, you lazy bastard. Jeff Amyx, God and Gay-fearing owner of Amyx Hardware & Roofing Supplies in Grainger County, Tennessee. has finally gotten some GOOD NEWS from the Supreme Court. His pickle was all [...]
Oh Great, Now Scott Pruitt Will Never Get That Fancy Lube He Likes!
his hands do look soft Poor Scott Pruitt! He ain’t got no money, he tried to abuse his position to get his wife some Chick-fil-A restaurants because she ain’t got no money neither, they got BILLS, BILLS, BILLS, he ain’t got nowhere to [...]
Arizona Court Orders Gay Haters To Draw Dicks All Day
Karma’s a bitch, ain’t she? Today an Arizona appellate court relied on Tuesday’s SCOTUS ruling in Masterpiece Cake Shop to tell a couple of God-bothering calligraphers to quit whining and just write the damn Adam and Steve invitations [...]
Sean Hannity Says Mueller Witnesses Should Destroy Evidence, Because HILLARY BLEACHED EMAILS BENGHAZI!!1!!!!!1!
This week news broke that special counsel Robert Mueller is asking witnesses to hand over their Obamaphones, so that he may check to see if they are using encrypted apps like Signal and WhatsApp to do conspiracies with Russia or any other [...]
Trump FCC Breaks Internet, Blames It On Dog
In another not-at-all shocking turn of events, the FCC seems to have purposely lied to reporters in an attempt to stop people from talking about net neutrality. Tech blog Gizmodo got its hands on internal emails showing how the FCC not only [...]

Kellyanne Conway Moves Trump-Russia Goalpost To Over There, Where Ivanka Isn’t!

Two tiny little scooplets today, nothing to see here really: A Cambridge Analytica director told friends she sent “third party” funds to Wikileaks via Dogecoin (probably not Dogecoin). Is that a big deal? And Ivanka Trump yelled at Michael [...]
South Dakota Dickhole Sorry He Forgot Segregation Was Bad
Look at Chunky Hitler up there South Dakota lawmaker Michael Clark was presumably super giddy from the meth-like rush he got from the narrow ruling by the Supreme Court that allowed a baker the right to refuse to bake a wedding cake for a gay [...]
Rudy Giuliani Just Admitted To Public Corruption, And That Wasn’t The Crazy Part
Can someone stick a schwarma in Rudy Giuliani’s face until he comes home from Israel? It’s bad enough he spends all day spouting lunatic nonsense in the US media, but now he’s hoisting that freak flag sky-high at a business conference [...]
Michael Avenatti Is Back! Did You Miss Him?
Hellloo, babeeee! Hold on to your hats, kids, because it’s breaking-thirty again! pic.twitter.com/RRbjssA00y — Michael Avenatti (@MichaelAvenatti) June 6, 2018 He ain’t kidding! Your Boyfriend Michael Avenatti just filed a new [...]